UYOMA: NOT A LAUGHING MATTER
Updated: Mar 24
To mano doko oyuma! (What a joke!)
Even the White man found out that when it comes to Uyoma it is not a laughing matter. The rest of third world especially the Luo still thought colonialism and racism was a privilege. But not Uyoma people and definitely not this Uyoma man asked to carry a white man across the river. Of course he dutifully obliged but with mischief in his mind. Halfway in the river he went under and Hobley nicknamed Obila went under with him. And just like that another Uyoma tragedy became a comedy. To mano doko oyuma! Can you imagine the winter suited Englishman who did not want to wade like every human being made to swim for his dear life in that attire? Let us go back to the beginning of the great original oyuma big joke that became Uyoma.
A. THE GENESIS OF UYOMA.
Verse 1: And so it came to pass that in about 1250 years ago, Sin Kuru also known as Kuku Lubanga and his 12 wives begot some three sons, Lioleituk Dyang’, Odongo Pok Boni and Opiyo Podho Koma.
Verse 2: From the house of Opiyo Podho Koma, Ringruok (1245?) begot Owat (1274?).
Verse 3: And Owat begot Twaifo (1303?).
Verse 4: Twaifo begot Jok I (1332?).
Verse 5: And then it came to pass that Jok I begot 3 sons Nayo (1361?), Omolo (1363?) and Owiny (1366?).
Verse 6: And Nayo begot Jok II (1390?).
Verse 7: Jok II begot Ramogi I (1419?).
Verse 8: And Ramogi I begot Aruwa (1448?) and another son Podho II (1450?) that he named after his ancestor Podho.
Verse 9: And from the house of Podho II came Ramogi II (1469?), Lang’ni (1471?), Okombo (1473?), Omia (1475?), Didang’ (1477?), Miwiru (1479) and Olak (1481).
Verse 27: And Miwiru begot Nyandguogi (1508). And Nyandguogi begot Oriambwa.
Verse 28: And Oriambwa begot Ujal.
Verse 29: And Ujal begot Kini.
Verse 30: And from the house of Kini came three sons, Silwal, Sabong’, Okidi.
Verse 31: And Silwal begot Le and Amolo
Verse 32: And Le married the Alego woman and begot sons Nyakala and Abondo and a girl Kia. And from the other wife Le begot a son Oduong’.
Verse 33: And from the house of Nyakala came Rombo, Ochieng’-Ambu, Alwar, Obiero Agak and Nyaliang’a.
Verse 34: And Omia begot Oywa
Verse 35: And Oywa begot two sons, a latter Ramogi and Nyakach
Verse 36: And from the house of Ramogi came Dimo from one wife; Nyikal and Rado from another wife; Chwanya from another wife, and from the last wife he begot Wango and Omia Ramul later to be nicknamed Uyoma.
Verse 37: And Omia Ramul begot Odhiariany.
Verse 38: And Odhiariany begot two sons Dilang’ and Owila
Verse 39: And Dilang’ begot Okise, Owuor and Ajore. And Ajore’s mother took self-pity to be lur because she could not have another child like her co-wife. And Ajore’s descendants to this date are referred as Ajore Kadilur.
Verse 40: And from the first house of Owila, came Okelo and Omolo Ong’ong’o from Nyalego.
Verse 41: And it came to pass that Owila married the daughter of Le (Asembo) as a second wife and begot Ojal and Onege later to be known as ancestors of Kabudha and Katweng’a respectively.
Verse 42: And it also came to pass that Owila’s wife, Amolo who was the daughter of Le (Asembo) conspired to seduce her niece Adeka to also marry Owila as a suweho. And from this suweho union came Ochieng’ Ong’iro.
Verse 43: And Ochieng’ Ong’iro begot Liech to give rise to descendants of Joka’Liech of ko'Kwiri cluster.
B. RHAPSODY OF UYOMA
Verse 1: And it came to the time of dispersal and Dimo as the last born stayed in ancestral home in Got Ramogi
Verse 2: And Rado, Nyikal and Chwanya headed northwards to the head of the gulf where the waters was low for Chwanya to cross over to Milambo.
Verse 3: Wango headed to the Middle east Luo land of Massawa to present day Butere, Musanda area. And it came to pass that Wango took a breather at Wuo-Roya among the Alego people.
Verse 4: And Wango descendants later headed to Massawa leaving Wango at Wuo- Roya.
Verse 5: Omia Ramul also headed on Northerly trek towards the Gulf but stopped at present day Uyoma as Omia Ramul son met and married a pretty belle by the name Otimbla.
Verse 6: And Omia Ramul changed course to follow Wango to middle east of Massawa and found the remnants of Wango treking party at Wuo-Roya.
Verse 7: And the joint party of Omia Ramul and Wango trekked together to massawa (middle east) area of present day Butere.
Omia becomes Uyoma
Verse 8: And one of the Omia descendants Omolo Ong’ong’o had a multiple personality disorder. And it came to pass that his double personality caused many boys to be found drowned in deep waters of the river.
Verse 9: And at a tribunal between Wango descendants and Omia Ramul descendants, Omolo Ong’ong’o denied the accusations as a big joke.
Verse 10: And the allegations by Wango descendants were made to appear comical by Omia descendants there was no decorum.
Verse 11. And as Omia family kept replying to every accusation with “To mano doko oyuma!” (What a joke!), the Wango family nicknamed them Aboyuma (people of Oyuma) as they had now become no better than bantu cannibals in behaviour.
Verse 12: And as Aboyuma became Uyoma so did the childhood derision by girls of “irach ka chi Ong’ong’o” (you are so unattractive only psychopath Ong’ong’o can marry you for drowning purposes).
Verse 13: And it came to pass that Owila led Omia descendants back to Alego where they set up a homestead nicknamed Aboyuma.
Verse 14: And it came to pass that now Uyoma raided the cattle of hot tempered Kakeny clan of Ugenya-Uholo. And Uyoma fled to Abom in Sakwa knowing how the easily inflammable Kakeny clan can be just like their high octane ladies. And it is here that they re-laid the Owila’s tombstone from Alego Kaluo. And to date the high octane reputation precedes Nyasaga ladies of Kakeny.
Verse 15: And Uyoma also rustled the stock of Matar of Sakwa and were made to run all the way further into river Otoge area as Asembo (joka’Le) did not want to be confronted with fierce and cantankerous jo’Sakwa.
Verse 16: And Uyoma endured difficult times in this area as they could not even take their cattle to the river. And they undertook the services of Osike a great medicine man who hypnotised two giant hippopotamus to engage in a deadly combat. As the two giant hippo bulls lay dying, Uyoma erstwhile opponents descended for easy lean hippo meat. And as they did so Uyoma crossed to fertile crescent and now laid siege.
Uyoma frogmarch ka’Nyidoto, ka’Nyada, ka’Kan, k’Opole
Verse 17: And it came to pass that true to form Uyoma resorted to being combative and drove the marooned clans of ka’Nyidoto, ka’Nyada, ka’Kan, k’Opole who fled across the lake to Milambo.
Verse 18: And juvenile fault of ka’Nyidoto came a result of their son Chialo jokingly mocking an Uyoma-ko'Kwiri wife as irach ka chi Ong’ong’o. And the pain of the past tragedy turned comedy of irach ka chi Ong’ong’o did not go well with Uyoma who evicted anybody with a possible knowledge of their past reputation in Butere area.
Verse 19: And as Uyoma prospered with nobody to spar with, they took on the might of Gem warriors.
Verse 20: And in what is today to be owned as guerrilla war fare Uyoma took the fight to mighty martial Gem clan and were beaten back again.
Verse 21: And Uyoma engaged Gem in another guerrilla war tactic of digging bunkers in the grazing field known as paw-Okela. As they did so they stationed Uyoma women at the top of the hill adorning hats resembling men as a decoy. The distracted Gem warriors were distracted by the decoy as the cattle grazed to the far end of paw-Okela grazing field past where Uyoma rustlers bunked. And the bemused Gem watched as their cattle were being gently driven away by Uyoma cattle rustlers.
Verse 22: And then as a last attempt it came to pass that Ramogi Okoko of Uyoma formed a sniper commando to fight Gem warriors. And the snipers habited in the reeds by the river and stalked Gem young men day and night, flooring them at will.
Verse 23: And when Gem warriors found out the Uyoma commando hide out, they stripped naked, creamed their body with moo-mabuo and mor-nyaluo (ghee) then raided the thick deserted togo (river reed plantation) killing all and dismembering Ramogi Okoko body into smithereens. And to date Gem clan adopted the stripping naked and creaming the body as a close combat tactic and ojalo (machete) as a ultimate weapon of arbitration in any dispute no matter how small.
Verse 24: And as Gem retreated, Uyoma first became entangled in a long period of vicious vendetta between families that led to neighbours taking sides. Jok'Amolo(Ojal, Atweng'a and Abudha) supported by Jok'Ajore, Joka'Kale and Ka'Nyikela pitted against Jo'Kang'o (Okelo and Omolo-Joka'gilo) plus joka'Okwiri supported by Kalir, Kobunga, Wagoro and Nyigoro. And the grisly internal wrangle ruptured into intense, gory, savage spine chilling ndagla, nawi, tung’ oracles, sacrifices that had never been seen before in East African Luo land revealing all the deep surreal scientific knowledge that Luos came with from South Sudan from the residue of knowledge stolen and destroyed by the Arab slave traders. And the oracles included even macabre mixing the supernatural with physical plastic open surgery of transporting puppies and other frightful items into the wombs of live domestic animals as vessels to launch at each other. And from the episode came the cautionary riddles of Od wadu idhye mos and dhaw mar anyuola kech.
Verse 25: And then followed a prolonged period of squabbles of killings, ndagala involving Uyoma and joka’Le (Asembo) which only ended with Asembo being evicted and the final man-made rainstorm that allowed Asembo to vanquish Sakwa and Uyoma in one go.
Verse 26: And after this followed a period of good neighbourliness between Uyoma and Asembo until the arrival of the white man led by Obilo Nyachola (Bwana Hobley). And as Hobley led a combined force including Asembo, Sakwa and Gem, Uyoma resisted and suffered a massacre.
Verse 27: And as the white man gunfire still raged Uyoma still resolved not to lose their stock to a fellow man despite the obvious naked casualties. And an infantry led by Molo yiech liech and Otieno Osogo laid an ambush at vantage pass and recovered all the stock. And to date Uyoma has never forgiven the white man.
Verse 28: And that explains why captive Uyoma man carrying Bwana Hobley across the river attempted a suicide attack to drown himself and Bwana Hobley on his back.
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